Be happy and stay that way
A crisis in a relationship always carries the chance for a new beginning with it. It arises due to different reasons. For example:
- desires and needs have changed
- a new phase of life has begun
- long-held discontent breaks free
- a significant other has not kept their promise
If you are in search of new paths within your relationship, talking to a third party might provide you with new perspectives and the possibility to create practical solutions as well as allow for new encounters to happen.
Couples counseling is often called couples therapy. It is essentially like coaching a team in a way but can also serve the purpose of a mediation in case of severe disputes. Allow yourself to get support.
Paarberatungen werden häufig auch Paartherapie genannt. Eigentlich ist es eher so etwas wie ein Team-Coaching und bei starken Konflikten eine Mediation. Lassen Sie sich unterstützen.
Turning crises into a new beginning
Couples Counseling OR Couples Therapy makes sense
… if you’re asking yourself one of the following questions or if one of these statements could have been yours:
- Why are we no longer talking to each other?
- My partner is so distant.
- Why do we argue so often?
- I no longer feel attracted to my partner.
- Where has our love gone?
- We are like brother and sister. Something’s missing.
- I think my partner has an affair.
- My partner had an affair and the trust is broken.
- We have completely different expectations for our future.
In all these cases, sharing a conversation might help provide relief, tension release or clarity about the current situation. Next, you need to decide if you want to be guided through a process that could ideally lead to a fresh start in your relationship.
If you like trying to be accompanied by a guide being on this particular steep stage on your journey, feel free to just schedule yourself an appointment using the online calendar below. For a first contact or any questions, I be happy to receive your email or answer your call.
Book your appointment right here
A first contact
To request a non-binding appointment, e.g. for couples therapy in Wiesbaden, you can easily reserve a timeframe that fits into your schedule in the calendar above. Maybe you will find an appointment right away. Select it. I will confirm the appointment request and send you further information.
If you have any upcoming questions, please contact me directly and choose the way of communication that you prefer. In order to establish a first personal encounter, I would be happy to offer you a free phone call.
Couples Counseling Wiesbaden: Immediate Appointment
In situations of crisis last-minute appointments are crucial and possible.
If necessary due to work-related commitments, appointments can take place in the early evening as well as on Saturdays.
With kind regards,
Couple and Sex Therapist
IN PRACTICE: COUPLES THERAPY IN WIESBADEN
Below you can find a brief description, explaining how guidance for you as a couple might look like in practice. Send me a message or give me a call whenever you have questions while reading the information provided.
With warm regards, Angela Lorenzen
Once you have decided that you would like to have some company on your path together, we can arrange an appointment.
Solution-oriented first interview
During our first interview, I will introduce myself as well as my methods and in case of tense circumstances I will provide you with clear advice as to what you can do as a couple to improve your situation immediately.
Furthermore, I will recommend an approach that is tailored to your specific situation. On the foundation of our first interview, you decide if you want to be accompanied by me on your journey.
Empathic couples counseling techniques
To achieve a positive development for the couple’s dynamics through conversation, it is crucial that both partners feel heard in their wishes, needs and contribution to the partnership. Empathic couples counseling techniques are quite helpful to work in such tense emotional situations.
Profound analysis of the situation
In addition to a safe emotional space, we will create a comprehensible description of your current dynamics as a couple. Figuring out the patterns of your relationship helps you to let go of unhealthy behavioral habits and makes space for new and better ways that allow you to correlate.
A Map For Orientation
There are three aspects that are essential for the lasting existence of a partnership.
Common values. Trust. The feeling of belonging. To be at home here. This aspect is based on similarities in our personality, our background and our history as a couple.
Being fascinated by one another. Even after years. The feeling of desire whenever I see or feel my partner. This aspect is fed by the attraction that the OTHER in my partner and the distance to the partner has on us. You most likely know it – if you have not seen each other for a long time or if your partner is emotionally distracted, you feel more drawn to them.
The common third
What we as partners aim for. Our common task and joint interest outside of our partnership. Above all family, but common hobbies and projects are relevant here as well.
This map serves as a first orientation to discover in which aspect you harmonize as a couple and in which area the partnership could use strengthening.
A new beginning signifies then that the partnership is back on a solid foundation of trust, that the partners have rediscovered their mutual attraction for one another and are aligned on a common path in life.
Like will to like.
What’s true for you ?
Following our first interview, I usually conduct one-on-one conversations with both partners. It’s just very beneficial to see what causes the challenges in the partnership naturally. The aha effects are followed by greater tolerance as well as more clarity about one’s own needs in the partnership.
Analysis of the individual motif structure and couple profile
If the partners’ personalities differ, which usually leads to strong attraction as well as greater challenges, it is also possible to complete an online test for intrinsic motivation. The results of the couple’s profile provide valuable insights for deriving a more harmonious partnership.
Preparation of emotional and intimate topics
In the one-to-one interviews, it is also possible to discuss difficult topics in a protected room in advance in order to then convey them to the partner with greater clarity. The partners’ desires regarding one another as well as requested personal boundaries are introduced in a subsequent conversation and moderated in a way that paves the way for a new consensus.
After the one-on-one interviews, a joint appointment will discuss which new structures the relationship should have from now on and the partners will agree on a way as to how they implement this new sense of relating to one another in their everyday life.
Guidance in the process
The time in between appointments is just as important as the consultation appointments themselves. As with all changes in habit, it takes practice throughout everyday life for a successful transition. At fixed intervals of two, later four and then six weeks we discuss in a consultation appointment, the changes that have worked well and where difficult situations still arise.
Guidance by a consultant, like any process, is always designed for a limited time. How long the couple requires guidance differs greatly and depends on the specific concerns of the couple.
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Conflicts are often the startingpoint to something entirely new. With the same partner.
While focusing on pressure to perform, the cult of the body, as well as pornography we are easily missing out on something essential.
Sexuality as an expression of our self.
The other pole.
Receptivity, creativity and female strength.
“The purest form of madness is to leave everything as it was
and yet hope that something is going to change.”
The conflict in your partnership is so strong that you are stuck. Maybe you argue openly or maybe the conflict is of a cold nature and you do not talk a lot with one another. If you still desire to figure out a solution, mediation is the method of choice for you.
Oftentimes, mediation helps to find creative solutions for seemingly incompatible demands of the partners. It creates space where limitedness or distance, speechlessness or debilitating conflict prevailed previously.
In case the couple decides to split after all, a mediation process helps to make this step go as smoothly as possible. The aim is to create a process that, due to its openness and fairness, forms the basis for an unburdened future for both partners.
The goal of mediation is to find the best solution for both parties involved. The mediator is partisan regarding both partners. This means I represent both parties actively and simultaneously. Therefore, you commission me together as a couple.
SYSTEMIC COUPLES AND SEX Counseling
Philosophy and Approach
“Being in a good relationship is like dancing.
In a joined movement each partner maintains their own balance.”
Systemic Couples Therapy and Couples Counseling
Systemic couples Counseling has its focus on the dynamics between people. With the help of differentiation, it aims at the personal development of each partner. What does that mean?
Let’s keep our focus on dancing. How you move with your partner – that is the systemic perspective. If your movements are fluent, dynamic, harmonious, light, thoughtful, rhythmic … Then all these aspects define your very special dance. And then there is you and your partner and individuals. With another partner, your dance would surely be different. The same applies to your partner. And if you develop yourself further – for example by practicing yoga now – your dancing style will change, possibly become more graceful which in return will cause your partner to react differently. Because your personal development brings a new impulse to your dance – into your relationship. This can pose a challenge for your partner. Or maybe a welcome turnaround. Either way, your partner – due to your impulse – will change slightly as well. If that is not the case because your partner is heading in a different direction, for example, tensions will build up within the relationship. Couples therapy, which also considers the personal development of the partners, follows the principle of differentiation, as introduced by David Schnarch, a renowned couple therapist and author from the USA.
Sex Counceling and Sex Coaching
In couples therapy, the sexuality is oftentimes only marginally touched. I personally believe that to be negligent. While there are more important aspects to a relationship than a fascinating love life – such as shared values, for example – a relationship can get exposed to external influences or might erode slowly if the partners struggle with a crisis in this area. A brief analysis of the sexual satisfaction of each partner should be part of couples counseling. That way, disturbing factors which are hidden beneath the surface can be found and considered. And if sexuality is not something the couple struggles with, it has at least been cleared up and allows one to completely devote oneself to the actual cause.
However, if the partners do wish for change in the field of sexuality, then this aspect is to be approached differently than the areas of trust, conflict, communication or a common aim in the couple’s life. All these topics usually require a profound foundation of similarities shared by the couple.
When it comes to sexuality, that is different. Although it is also an interaction – it works better when the partners are “wired” differently. Therefore, strategies in this field require for the respective individuality of the partners to be strengthened. The more my partner is in unison with himself. The more he does “his thing”. The more self-confident I perceive him and the more “different” he is in comparison to me, the more desirable he – or she – becomes to me. This aspect was long ignored when it came to couples therapy. This principle is called polarity and aims to encourage the conscious polarity in a relationship. Because sexual attraction emerges from tension. And tension arises not only from difference but also distance. The otherwise proven strategy of “doing more together” is not enough to build up tension nor does it revive the passion in the relationship. In this case, something else is required.
Once desire has been revived – or even when it had never been gone – the question arises, if you want similar things in regard to your sexuality, seeing as this is not always the case. In this instance, it is all about expanding the possible spectrum of the partners. The varieties of erotic love are as colorful as a bouquet of flowers and needs and desires have a tendency to change over time. These days, it makes sense to take a closer look and explore what could provide you both with joy. Here, sex counseling merges into couples counseling.
“A good partnership is the haven where we can find both:
as much security as we seek and as much freedom as we need.”
Sounds like a dream, doesn’t it? Though, the question is – how can one achieve that? Is it even possible to do something to build a “good partnership” or is that only a possibility with the “right” partner? And what about love? I’ll come back to that at the end of this text. Let’s take a look at the practical aspects first.
The initial situation: you are in a partnership, either married or unmarried, and you know that you cannot go on like THIS. Maybe you have been talking about the same topics over and over again for the past few years – without being able to figure out a solution. Or a new situation has emerged that challenges your partnership.
The exciting question is: Could I, could we have done anything differently? Is this about guilt? About right and wrong?
What is it really all about?
A systemic couples therapy offers the possibility to discover the essence behind the actions and arguments. The thing that it’s really all about. And sometimes you even get to understand yourself better in the course of a couples counseling.
Because conflicts within the partnership always entail something quite personal. It’s not just about togetherness but also about myself. Do I know what I want and need, did I communicate that clearly? Set boundaries? Requested the space that is important to me? And how can couples counseling help in that regard?
The third person acts as a catalyst for when you engage in conversation. Oftentimes, old topics are provided with new solutions and sometimes it even happens that you see your partner in a different light and find to each other again once reaching a new level. If you are looking for a new beginning or just want to figure out joined possibilities, then couples counseling is a good idea. Couples counseling combined with sex counseling is also helpful when it comes to questions revolving around the rediscovery of passion in love.
And now we are finally talking about it – love. Built on the foundation of a solid partnership in which both partners give each other what they need willingly, love can grow, because …
“Love is a child of freedom.”
Seminars, weekend seminars and evenings for women in Wiesbaden
Women’s Temple Evening
An open evening for women who desire to let go of their stressful daily routine and relax.
Every second Tuesday of the month in Wiesbaden-Biebrich
Three-month program for women
Bedelicious. A journey to your sensual self.
Reserve your seat
Looking forward to your message.